'They' could be anyone! 'They' are usually journalists, co-commentators, pundits and even fans, especially those of a scouse disposition. Simply put 'they' haven't looked hard enough.
It took just a 2 hour plane journey, 15 stops on a intercity train and a walk not much longer than the one between Old Trafford metrolink stop and Old Trafford football ground to prove them all wrong;
Just gone 5.45 p.m on Friday evening and after walking through a forest, yes a forest, and buying a scarf that cost 2€ less than the 14€ admission fee, I walked into Stadion An der Alren Forsterei amid a sea of cheering, this is 2nd Bundesliga, this is FC UNION BERLIN!
There is no seat to find, just a standing spot in section C where I might be able to see some of the action. The team comes out to Nina Hagen's 'Eisern Union', translated to 'Iron Union' (a handy explanation to why there seems to be many West Ham United supporters around), and the fans respond to the lyrics by chanting. The fans in the tier away to my right are already bouncing up and down, singing a song that I, and my fellow Englishman, can only make up words too that sound similarish to the actual German.
At kick off I can see very little, however Union's domination of FC Erzgebirge Aue in the opening exchanges is still very visible with the defence and central midfielders keeping hold of the ball easily until they see an opening further up the pitch. The tall and awkward Adam Nemec was a big threat up front and he was causing havoc amongst the away side's defence. Finally the deadlock is broken, after only 7 minutes, a brilliant cross from the right finds Nemec rising above the Erzgebirge defence.
The next half an hour is a master-class of football from 'The Iron Ones' however they fail to beat Martin Mannel in the opposition goal despite the defence continuing to struggle to defend against Nemec. The midfield battle is being well won by Union with Baris Ozbek and captain Torsten Mattuschka winning tackles and starting attacks with composed passing. After half an hour the away side make a tactical change with Nicolas Hofler being replaced by Andreas Weigel, the midfielder is clearly annoyed as he refuses the hand of the manager and slumps into a seat on the bench.
The change makes little difference however, after about 40 minutes, the 'Veilchen' have their first real chance but they hit the woodwork when it looks easier to score. This spurs on the home side who, after a 3rd corner, win a penalty when Nemec is pushed whilst jumping to win a header. Up steps the captain, Mattuschka, to make it 2-0 as the whistle for half time blows.
We move up a step in the tier and if by magic the whole pitch is available to us. Our section of the stadium, which has been singing throughout the first half, moves into bouncing mode along with the 'diehards' behind the goal and the second half starts in the same fashion of the first half, with Berlin dominant. Simon Terrode becomes the dominant striker in the match as the away side decide to man mark Nemec giving Terrode more room. However it is the continued brilliance of Ozbek and Mattuschka that keeps Berlin on top.
Just before the hour mark Aue attack but lose the ball just in front of the penalty area, Union counter at speed and Bjorn Jopek finds Michael Parensen in the box who side foots past Mannel to make it 3-0 and the match is over as a contest. Berlin continue to pour forward and Jopek, Parensen and Terrode all have chances to make it 4 but find Mannel, who looks about 12, in fine form.
Despite the match being over no one walks out early. As the whistle blows for full time we expect the rush for the trains instead as we leave most of the 17,250 stay to sing and cheer. We get out of the forest to head back to train station, the crowd, most still stood in their spot, can still be heard.
This is no fairytale, no 'once upon a time', this is simply the heartland of football where in 2008 fans took time off work to help rebuild a stadium that was all but derelict. This is very special club.
I will always be a Manchester United fan, I will always long for the nights like tonight where my team face one of the other giants of world football, Real Madrid. But now I will always hold a special place for another side wearing red and white- I recommend you take a visit to that forest one day too, I'll let you know when I plan to go back if you like.
UNION! UNION! UNION! UNION! UNION! UNION!