Oh for a little escapism!

Firstly I’d like to apologise to you my avid followers for taking so long for my latest post, I was planning on writing something about the comparison between a money mad Gareth Barry and a success mad Kaka, based on the latter’s turning down Manchester City back in January to go to Real Madrid for less money in July. There are problems here of course, firstly Kaka is hardly on the minimum wage, secondly who am I to criticise Gareth Barry, I mean who wouldn’t want 110k a week, and finally if the papers are to be true Kaka asked Madrid for in the region of ten million pounds for his dad and one million for his brother, greed apparently is good after all.

Right so that’s that done with now to the world of escapism! Many people in the world, not me obviously I have time to write this blog, have busy, hectic, demanding lives including jobs, children to look after, parents to look after. Of course many use sport as their way to escape. After all what’s better after a stressful week’s work than to sit in your favourite seat at your football team’s ground and watch them play frustratingly poor and nearly give you a heart-attack with woeful defending. But for one man sport and specifically football could be the answer to all his troubles!

With his world tumbling around him this country’s ‘top’ man could turn to football. Of course I’m talking about the hapless Gordon Brown! With good old ‘Gordo’ changing his cabinet members more often that students change underwear at the moment I’ve come up with some footballing suggestions for the next time Mr Brown decides to shuffle his ministers about a bit.

I’ll dive straight in with our PM’s old position of Chancellor of the Exchequer, and my choice is another Scot. The man who took Everton to the FA cup final this year, none other than David Moyes. In this day and age of economic frailties who else but a man who’s done a lot from very little. Signing Tim Cahill, one of the Premiership’s most dangerous midfielders, for only £1.5 million is pretty astute, £2 million on England international Joleon Lescott. I could go on for a while. The fact is that with so little money having to go so far only Moyes could be a choice, after all Britain would happily be the 5th best country in the world right now.

I know you’re wondering who’s going to be Secretary of State for Energy and Climate change. Well it’s none other than Manchester City’s Robinho. Ok, so not the greatest of seasons for the small Brazilian but he still ended the season as 4th top goal scorer in the league after moving from the sun of Madrid to the rain of Manchester. And no one can question the ex-Santos man’s bountiful energy. Plus there’s the added fact he got the bus to the Trafford Centre when going shopping with his wife.

Next up, and you’ll notice there’s no logical order for these, is Secretary of State for Defence, now this is more difficult than the previous two, I mean we could pick good old Joey Barton, no one would start with us then, but I’m thinking Secretary of State for Justice for this magpie, after all which footballer knows the justice system better! So back to defence, we could go with the big Serb Nemanja Vidic but seeing as the best form of defence is attack we’ll have to go a different way. And with that thought in mind I’m going with Rory Delap, our air missiles will be the best in the world without doubt.

Gareth Barry certainly won’t be the Secretary of State for Foreign and Commonwealth Affairs, after all Manchester might be in Europe but no one from the mainland will be visiting Eastlands any time soon. No this spot would have to go to the master of all things foreign, Arsene Wenger. I considered Secretary of State for Health going to Michael Owen, in the same way as his Newcastle colleague Mr Barton is a justice system expert, Owen is definitely an expert on the health system.

Finally the PM himself, well I don’t think Mr Brown should continue so we need a footballing replacement. I considered going outside of football and going with Ross Brawn but that wouldn’t be very Sidleresque. Sir Alex is always an option, but then he’s not an expert at making failing things work, or at least not since the early 1990s. Down the road at Anfield things are hardly running smoothly, but after too much pressure Rafa would end up ranting at the leader of the opposition, FACT! Like Mike Ashley, and this is the first and last time I’ll ever compare myself to him, I’m not convinced Alan Shearer will get Newcastle promoted or this country in the right shape. There can only really be one man, and whilst his team could lose to Andorra and make me look very stupid, our next PM has to be David Beckham..... Ok so I’m joking. If we can have an Italian run our football team then why not have Fabio Capello run our country. I know this week it’s not linked to Sunday league football, but trust me, everyone in our team could run this brilliant nation better than it’s being run at the moment. Unfortunately Mr Brown won’t step down, but we can always dream of a world run by football!

Game Over?! Oh it's just about to start!

So as the dust settled and the smoke of Guus Hiddink's cigar cleared it was clear for all to see... the season was over! Not just here but everywhere, in Spain, Italy, Germany, Holland and Portugal, all over Europe seasons were coming to an end, be it leagues or cups that brought down the curtain. For some of the world's most famous and legendary players it was game over for good, as in Italy, Pavel Nedved, Luis Figo and most legendary of them all Paolo Maldini, retired. Heroes of their clubs and countries 3 men modern football could truly be proud to call it's own.

They'll no doubt be some one on Sky Sports News telling us exactly how many months, weeks, days, hours, minutes and seconds till we next see the likes of Frank Lampard, Wayne Rooney and Steven Gerrard (we always go on about foreign players I thought I'd go a different way this time) but why should we care. Firstly we'll be seeing these three, and the other non-injured England players, twice in the next 10 days in World Cup qualifiers, first a horrible trip to Kazakhstan and then a home match against Andorra. Secondly who needs these overpaid and under performing (not so much since Capello but they've still won nothing with him) England seniors when we've got the overpaid but pretty good under 21s (still won nothing but we seem to think they're better) battling it out with the rest of Europe's kids to become the best under 21 team in our fair continent.

The third reason we shouldn't listen to SSN's detailed countdown to the season, which of course is so important to them because they don't have this weeks internationals, is that the best part of the season is about to begin, in fact in its own right this time of year is a different season... SILLY SEASON!!!! It began in earnest this morning with the news that Carlo Ancelotti has become the new Chelsea manager. But with Sunderland yet to have a new manager in place, though it may be that Wigan swap places, thus the Latics being the ones looking, and of course Celtic also looking for a man to beat Rangers, the managerial merry-go-round is far from over. But managers are pretty boring, it's all about who they want to buy that excites us all. The most intriguing of team will be the usual suspects no doubt.

Chelsea's millions along with their new manager and new direction has them linked with Kaka, Pirlo, Aguero, Adebayor, Tevez, Ribery and Villa, to name just a few. Manchester City's billions have seen them linked with far too many to name but pretty much everyone from Messi to Sidle is being linked. City are made more interesting by the fact this is their second season with money, and one where most have none, but their first in which they already have a squad with several quality players. It is the Chelseaesque balancing act that they must begin, where to buy quality players for big money without forgetting about those we already have. The must improve the defence, but what of those they have already bought such as Zabaleta and Bridge, those promising but inconsistent youngsters Richards and Onuoha or team captain but highly frustrating Richard Dunne.

Sunderland and possibly Portsmouth owned by new foreign money will be keen to push away from relegation candidates to mid-table or possibly a fight for Europe. Of course the newly promoted sides will look to spend some money to avoid relegation, but not so much as to bankrupt the team as they fly back down the leagues. Fulham will buy to prepare for the Europa League, but as usual will teams like Aston Villa really fight to win Europe's poorer competition, or will they keep dreaming of a top four finish. Liverpool and Arsenal, along with the already mentioned Chelsea will hope to buy big to catch Manchester United. Having said that, for all Arsene Wenger's brilliant management, buying players to catch the champions is not his forte, he will need to lose his stubbornness and buy experienced players. United though, whilst some thought will be on the chasing pack don't fool yourself into thinking Sir Alex will buy to keep them at bay, more likely it'll be to chase Barcelona.

In the world of Sunday League transfers and transfer budgets are not amongst our greatest of worries. For a team who's season ended playing wise several weeks ago a line was drawn under the sand on Sunday night at the end of season awards. A goalkeeper and a left back won the awards for the best players and rightly so. But it's not the awards that really mattered last night (they matter more today), but it was the joy of seeing some friends get together, party and thank thier manager for his hard work, a little like the Chelsea boys and that smoking Dutch man.

Oh yeah, I nearly forgot our friends at Sky! One last reason you shouldn't care about the countdown. And this might sound strange from such a massive football fan, is that we can celebrate the fact there's no more football. Open a beer, toast your team, sit back, relax and watch the beauty of Roger Federer's tennis or a Lion's rugby union match or of course that very British thing an Ashes's summer. Football will be back, but for now let's forget it!

Simply the Best?

"Football, bloody hell!" Famous words spoken by a man who may have had stronger things to say almost 10 years to the day later. It sounds stupid, almost hopeful from a United fan to say, but before that most incredible of leaps by that most incredible of 5"7 Argentinians, we may have been heading for an exact replica of the scenes we had on Sir Matt's 90th birthday this time the day after his 100th.

OK just bear with me, I know you're about to click away from the babbling United fan's blog but I'm fighting through tears here. United were well and truly hammered, as they had been that night in the Nou Camp, Barcelona had hit the woodwork, as Bayern had and Barce had failed to kill off United much like Bayern had. But Munich did not have Lionel Messi.

The thing here is that during the match, and even now, I'd be pushed to say that Messi is the best player in the world, I mean we're led to believe it's someone new every year, in fact some people spread it round every month or two. On the night we were led to believe it was Messi vs Ronaldo the show down! Messi won, but he didn't really. I'm not being biased here I just think it's difficult to believe a) it was really Messi vs Ronaldo and b) Messi himself beat Ronaldo.

The English champions were well below par, Barcelona were brilliant. Had both teams been brilliant we may have still had the same result but at least we'd have a better picture of who really was the better player. For me the man of the match, and possibly the best player in the world, was and is Andres Iniesta. Messi has flair, innovation, the ability to make the ball stick to his feet, but Iniesta has all these plus the best pass in the world and a footballing mind better than most. In any other era, and I say this whilst hearing the chorus of boos from those who remember "back in the day", Iniesta would be mentioned as a true great. These days though, we like the trickery and flair of a Messi and Ronaldo. We like the celebrity of Gerrard or Kaka. The famous names on football management games, who usually don't make it as big as their virtual selves like Rafael van der Vaart and Kim Kallstrom (thank you to the Football Manager Live boys for those examples.)

The best players are often those who sit in the background doing the hard work. In the world of Sunday league the newly crowned league champions had the top goalscorer by a mile, they also had the player of the season. This was not the same person. Even in the Sunday leagues it's often the quiet man, the left back or central midfielder doing the work, pulling the strings, making a team really tick. Goalkeepers are also undervalued a lot of the time. I have mentioned these 3 positions as coming up to the team awards I hope it's these players who pick up awards.

But maybe, after all this, I've missed the point! Maybe the little Argentinian is the world's best player, although it was Xavi who laid it up for him, that moment, that leap, that's what makes a player great. Many have said it was Eto'o's goal that changed the match, but with United's past of great comebacks it was really Messi's goal that changed the game. And that ability to change a match, in fact make history unimportant perhaps just makes Messi the best player in the world. Now I'm off to console myself with a DVD of the Champions League final of 1999, it still gives me goosebumps. Football Bloody Hell

Prepared? Only Time Will Tell

As the final whistles blew at the KC Stadium, the Stadium of Light, Villa Park and the Boleyn Ground we knew that Newcastle and Middlesbrough would be joining West Brom and the other 21 Championship sides in England's second tier of football. It's difficult to really know what to write about relegation, it is a horrible sight to see and yet some fans, such as Hull's and especially Sunderland's, could be no happier about the situation. Even Sir Alex broke out a smile as he shook Phil Brown's hand, no doubt thinking about when Alan Shearer turned him down twice all those years ago.

But as Newcastle and Boro fans try and get over that horrible feeling in the pit of their stomach, telling them there is no longer trips to Old Trafford and instead trips to Bloomfield Road await, the management and chairmen of these teams must prepare for life in the fizzy pop leagues.

First for Newcastle is deciding who their manager is. The choice may not be theirs to make. Shearer is yet decided on his future and yet a nagging voice in my head makes me think that relegation only makes him more likely to stay, we all thought 'the Messiah' was in a win-win situation but he'll no doubt feel some guilt towards his teams relegation. But the 'ex' TV pundit will only stay on if he gets what Kevin Keegan couldn't get, full control! Once the manager is decided then the players must decide if they'll stay or go. Damien Duff is already ready to stay and help Newcastle's promotion chase, possibly to repay them for the own goal. But whilst no club is too good for relegation Newcastle have some players who are. Bassong linked with Arsenal is certainly one, Steven Taylor, an England prospect, another. But the player with the most question marks circling his head is former England saviour Michael Owen. Owen is the club's top earner on £110,000 a week and yet he can barely put together two matches in a row, he is a former goal scoring machine and yet was too limp to grab any goal that would save Newcastle, the Owen of old is far too good for the Championship but the defunct £110,000 a week Owen we have now is barely worth the Sunday leagues.

Boro will no doubt stick by Gareth Southgate. Steve Gibson, the Middelsbrough Chairman, is different to most of his quick firing counterparts and will stand by his former captain. Stewart Downing's injury on the penultimate match of the season may be a blessing in disguise, his addition to Boro's team on the last day of the season would have made no difference to the awful performance by Boro. But his up to 6 months out may now mean possibly suitors, such as Spurs could be put off buying a player who will be untried until November, and if Boro could be battling for promotion by January they may even be able to keep him till season end. One player most certainly on his way out is the brilliant Tuncay, linked with Chelsea in January as a cheapish option, the Turk has been far above his team-mates all season. With Tuncay gone Southgate must go about finding a man to score goals, his team scored an awful 28 goals all season, to put it in context, West Brom scored 26 at home.

Both teams must be ready for a battle no matter what. The Championship is not easy to get out of, Cardiff, Sheffield United, Preston, Swansea and Reading will want to build on nearly but not quite seasons, newly promoted Leicester and Peterborough will want 2 or 3 promotions in a row respectively whilst teams like QPR, Watford, Ipswich and Crystal Palace will look to restore former glories of Premeirship days. And these teams have the advantage of knowing the league and the teams they will face, Newcastle and Middelsborough will not. It is also West Brom's advantage over their rivals, experts at promotion Tony Mowbray's side will be looking for automatic promotion and then will need to prepare for the Premiership better next time.

In the world of Sunday league football preparation is arguably less important. But for a team who are yet to work out their best 11 it is essential. Pre season will start as soon as possible and the management will sit down and discuss new signings and frendlies. But most of all as a team who threw away leads late in games over and over again last season, fitness and concentration will be high on the list. Maybe if Southgate could go back to last years pre season he'd have focused on this more- Saturday 23rd August was Boro's second match of the season leading Liverpool 1-0 away with 4 minutes remaining they lost 2-1, how different a season Liverpool and Middelsborough could of had.

Ok ok, I know, it's the end of the season so you want to know my Premier league team of the year and what not. Well the Premiership team who have impressed me most this season have more preparing to do than any other, Burnley! Well done to them and all play-off winners this weekend!

Success is Truly Sexy

May 5th 2008, yes I know it's a while ago but stick with me. Having seen his side beat QPR 2-0 and therefore capturing the Championship, Tony Mowbray declared his team would continue playing attractive, attacking football. No one could deny that it was this silky smooth attacking way of playing football, the Championship Arsenal if you will, that had won West Brom the title, 17 goals clear of the second top scorers in the league.

It inevitably led the media to question whether or not the Baggies would continue to play in the Premiership the way they had in the Championship. Mowbray quickly dispelled the questions “There's a great debate in football about whether it's all about winning or all about entertaining. There’s got to be a balance and we've got that balance right." And to his credit the ex Middlesbrough player stuck to his guns, more lovely 'pass and move football' has been played by West Brom this season than by any Sam Allardyce team ever!

Now I’ll point out Sam Allardyce got Bolton into Europe, kept them up season after season, also, contrary to popular belief, did not ruin Newcastle United or get them relegated, and this season has kept Blackburn Rovers in the Premiership. Tony Mowbray has not! Ok so this blog is not to have a go at Mowbray, nor am I here to suggest Sam Allardyce should be manager of the season, but one man who could take that title is Stoke manager Tony Pulis.

Pulis has never apologised for his teams style of play, and nor should he! In fact most managers and teams have not questioned them. Absolute genius exponents of the long ball game. And with big players such as Shawcross, Higginbotham, Sidibie, Fuller, Amdy and Abdoulaye Faye, it’s no wonder they like a long ball. Add the fact that Rory Delap has his defence splitting throw in and you’ve got a cocktail for mayhem. Not many have coped, especially at Fortress Britannia where Stoke played so well their poor away record meant nothing.

On a local note, Crumpsall FC, 3 years ago the whipping boys of our league have had an extremely successful season for the 2nd year running. Double cup winners this season and 6th in the table, they’ve started to shut everyone up! And how do they play? Long ball over the top and score. Ugly football? When you watch it work, it’s really beautiful.


Finally with success being relative Stoke have shown that they’re without doubt a more successful team than this week’s opposition, Arsenal. If Arsene could learn to play ugly sometimes then the success at The Emirates would be truly sexy!

Motivation, Motivation, Motivation

A funny thing is human behaviour. How we react to a situation, how we react to each other’s reactions, and possibly most important, how we want people to react to our action.

I can only imagine how exactly Phil Brown thought Hull would react to his Boxing Day on pitch rant.

I assume Mr Benitez was unaware what happens when you poke the bear with a factual stick

And I'm pretty sure Fabio Capello didn't care how Michael Owen would react to not being picked for England!


Hull reacted brilliantly to the pundits who, before finishing sentences congratulating their promotion, had already condemned them to relegation. A win against Arsenal at the Emirates in September ranked as their number 1 scalp in an early few months of big results. Then, leading 2-0 at Anfield inside 25 minutes, the season changed. The Gerrard effect took hold; it often does on the most innocent of targets. The match finished 2-2, a great result but in context Hull had thrown away 2 points that come next week could be huge! Next up came a humiliation, in front of the home fans at the KC Stadium, at the hands of Sunderland. The Black Cats scored 3 goals in the last 12 minutes to win 4-1.

Then came the moment that Phil Brown may never forget, and one the media may never let him! 45 minutes into the Boxing Day fixtures, Hull found themselves 4-0 down against Manchester City. Ian Ashbee and the rest of the players couldn't have expected Brown's centre circle team talk as he shouted at his players and wagged his finger as if they were a bunch of extremely naughty young children. Motivation? I think not! Hull have spiraled from 6th to 17th and with one match left are still staring relegation in the face. And the early season brilliance of Geovanni has been replaced by an anonymous Brazilian who throws strops at being subbed looking a bit like Geovanni.

On the Eve of Liverpool's match against Stoke at fortress Britannia Rafael Benitez tried to motivate the FA to act against Sir Alex Ferguson and possibly try to motivate his players for a title run against the old enemy. In a shocking and calculated attack on the champions, and specifically their manager, Benitez took out a piece of paper and started quoting some "facts" about Sir Alex. It was all about the Respect campaign and how only Ferguson could get away with speaking about referees without punishment. The funny thing is Benitez may have even been correct. But it was the way he went about it, the malice, and the fact he was answering to a simple question about the chances of Liverpool cracking under the pressure of the run in. With his rant Rafa answered the question, if not the players then at least the manager could not handle the pressure. Now with the title over with a week to go Benitez will know he did motivate, shame for him it was Manchester United he motivated.


On a more local note the manager of a Sunday league team recently had a motivational word with an under performing player privately on the phone. Told him off for his lack of effort and shouting at other players. This player went on to play extremely well the next week in a charity tournament! I guess motivation is the key, you've just got to do it at the right time in the right way. If Phil Brown and Rafael Benitez can learn from history then next seasons relegation battle might not include Hull (should they survive this one) and the title run in may just be a little closer.