Oh for a little escapism!

Firstly I’d like to apologise to you my avid followers for taking so long for my latest post, I was planning on writing something about the comparison between a money mad Gareth Barry and a success mad Kaka, based on the latter’s turning down Manchester City back in January to go to Real Madrid for less money in July. There are problems here of course, firstly Kaka is hardly on the minimum wage, secondly who am I to criticise Gareth Barry, I mean who wouldn’t want 110k a week, and finally if the papers are to be true Kaka asked Madrid for in the region of ten million pounds for his dad and one million for his brother, greed apparently is good after all.

Right so that’s that done with now to the world of escapism! Many people in the world, not me obviously I have time to write this blog, have busy, hectic, demanding lives including jobs, children to look after, parents to look after. Of course many use sport as their way to escape. After all what’s better after a stressful week’s work than to sit in your favourite seat at your football team’s ground and watch them play frustratingly poor and nearly give you a heart-attack with woeful defending. But for one man sport and specifically football could be the answer to all his troubles!

With his world tumbling around him this country’s ‘top’ man could turn to football. Of course I’m talking about the hapless Gordon Brown! With good old ‘Gordo’ changing his cabinet members more often that students change underwear at the moment I’ve come up with some footballing suggestions for the next time Mr Brown decides to shuffle his ministers about a bit.

I’ll dive straight in with our PM’s old position of Chancellor of the Exchequer, and my choice is another Scot. The man who took Everton to the FA cup final this year, none other than David Moyes. In this day and age of economic frailties who else but a man who’s done a lot from very little. Signing Tim Cahill, one of the Premiership’s most dangerous midfielders, for only £1.5 million is pretty astute, £2 million on England international Joleon Lescott. I could go on for a while. The fact is that with so little money having to go so far only Moyes could be a choice, after all Britain would happily be the 5th best country in the world right now.

I know you’re wondering who’s going to be Secretary of State for Energy and Climate change. Well it’s none other than Manchester City’s Robinho. Ok, so not the greatest of seasons for the small Brazilian but he still ended the season as 4th top goal scorer in the league after moving from the sun of Madrid to the rain of Manchester. And no one can question the ex-Santos man’s bountiful energy. Plus there’s the added fact he got the bus to the Trafford Centre when going shopping with his wife.

Next up, and you’ll notice there’s no logical order for these, is Secretary of State for Defence, now this is more difficult than the previous two, I mean we could pick good old Joey Barton, no one would start with us then, but I’m thinking Secretary of State for Justice for this magpie, after all which footballer knows the justice system better! So back to defence, we could go with the big Serb Nemanja Vidic but seeing as the best form of defence is attack we’ll have to go a different way. And with that thought in mind I’m going with Rory Delap, our air missiles will be the best in the world without doubt.

Gareth Barry certainly won’t be the Secretary of State for Foreign and Commonwealth Affairs, after all Manchester might be in Europe but no one from the mainland will be visiting Eastlands any time soon. No this spot would have to go to the master of all things foreign, Arsene Wenger. I considered Secretary of State for Health going to Michael Owen, in the same way as his Newcastle colleague Mr Barton is a justice system expert, Owen is definitely an expert on the health system.

Finally the PM himself, well I don’t think Mr Brown should continue so we need a footballing replacement. I considered going outside of football and going with Ross Brawn but that wouldn’t be very Sidleresque. Sir Alex is always an option, but then he’s not an expert at making failing things work, or at least not since the early 1990s. Down the road at Anfield things are hardly running smoothly, but after too much pressure Rafa would end up ranting at the leader of the opposition, FACT! Like Mike Ashley, and this is the first and last time I’ll ever compare myself to him, I’m not convinced Alan Shearer will get Newcastle promoted or this country in the right shape. There can only really be one man, and whilst his team could lose to Andorra and make me look very stupid, our next PM has to be David Beckham..... Ok so I’m joking. If we can have an Italian run our football team then why not have Fabio Capello run our country. I know this week it’s not linked to Sunday league football, but trust me, everyone in our team could run this brilliant nation better than it’s being run at the moment. Unfortunately Mr Brown won’t step down, but we can always dream of a world run by football!

Game Over?! Oh it's just about to start!

So as the dust settled and the smoke of Guus Hiddink's cigar cleared it was clear for all to see... the season was over! Not just here but everywhere, in Spain, Italy, Germany, Holland and Portugal, all over Europe seasons were coming to an end, be it leagues or cups that brought down the curtain. For some of the world's most famous and legendary players it was game over for good, as in Italy, Pavel Nedved, Luis Figo and most legendary of them all Paolo Maldini, retired. Heroes of their clubs and countries 3 men modern football could truly be proud to call it's own.

They'll no doubt be some one on Sky Sports News telling us exactly how many months, weeks, days, hours, minutes and seconds till we next see the likes of Frank Lampard, Wayne Rooney and Steven Gerrard (we always go on about foreign players I thought I'd go a different way this time) but why should we care. Firstly we'll be seeing these three, and the other non-injured England players, twice in the next 10 days in World Cup qualifiers, first a horrible trip to Kazakhstan and then a home match against Andorra. Secondly who needs these overpaid and under performing (not so much since Capello but they've still won nothing with him) England seniors when we've got the overpaid but pretty good under 21s (still won nothing but we seem to think they're better) battling it out with the rest of Europe's kids to become the best under 21 team in our fair continent.

The third reason we shouldn't listen to SSN's detailed countdown to the season, which of course is so important to them because they don't have this weeks internationals, is that the best part of the season is about to begin, in fact in its own right this time of year is a different season... SILLY SEASON!!!! It began in earnest this morning with the news that Carlo Ancelotti has become the new Chelsea manager. But with Sunderland yet to have a new manager in place, though it may be that Wigan swap places, thus the Latics being the ones looking, and of course Celtic also looking for a man to beat Rangers, the managerial merry-go-round is far from over. But managers are pretty boring, it's all about who they want to buy that excites us all. The most intriguing of team will be the usual suspects no doubt.

Chelsea's millions along with their new manager and new direction has them linked with Kaka, Pirlo, Aguero, Adebayor, Tevez, Ribery and Villa, to name just a few. Manchester City's billions have seen them linked with far too many to name but pretty much everyone from Messi to Sidle is being linked. City are made more interesting by the fact this is their second season with money, and one where most have none, but their first in which they already have a squad with several quality players. It is the Chelseaesque balancing act that they must begin, where to buy quality players for big money without forgetting about those we already have. The must improve the defence, but what of those they have already bought such as Zabaleta and Bridge, those promising but inconsistent youngsters Richards and Onuoha or team captain but highly frustrating Richard Dunne.

Sunderland and possibly Portsmouth owned by new foreign money will be keen to push away from relegation candidates to mid-table or possibly a fight for Europe. Of course the newly promoted sides will look to spend some money to avoid relegation, but not so much as to bankrupt the team as they fly back down the leagues. Fulham will buy to prepare for the Europa League, but as usual will teams like Aston Villa really fight to win Europe's poorer competition, or will they keep dreaming of a top four finish. Liverpool and Arsenal, along with the already mentioned Chelsea will hope to buy big to catch Manchester United. Having said that, for all Arsene Wenger's brilliant management, buying players to catch the champions is not his forte, he will need to lose his stubbornness and buy experienced players. United though, whilst some thought will be on the chasing pack don't fool yourself into thinking Sir Alex will buy to keep them at bay, more likely it'll be to chase Barcelona.

In the world of Sunday League transfers and transfer budgets are not amongst our greatest of worries. For a team who's season ended playing wise several weeks ago a line was drawn under the sand on Sunday night at the end of season awards. A goalkeeper and a left back won the awards for the best players and rightly so. But it's not the awards that really mattered last night (they matter more today), but it was the joy of seeing some friends get together, party and thank thier manager for his hard work, a little like the Chelsea boys and that smoking Dutch man.

Oh yeah, I nearly forgot our friends at Sky! One last reason you shouldn't care about the countdown. And this might sound strange from such a massive football fan, is that we can celebrate the fact there's no more football. Open a beer, toast your team, sit back, relax and watch the beauty of Roger Federer's tennis or a Lion's rugby union match or of course that very British thing an Ashes's summer. Football will be back, but for now let's forget it!