Firstly I’d like to apologise to you my avid followers for taking so long for my latest post, I was planning on writing something about the comparison between a money mad Gareth Barry and a success mad Kaka, based on the latter’s turning down Manchester City back in January to go to Real Madrid for less money in July. There are problems here of course, firstly Kaka is hardly on the minimum wage, secondly who am I to criticise Gareth Barry, I mean who wouldn’t want 110k a week, and finally if the papers are to be true Kaka asked Madrid for in the region of ten million pounds for his dad and one million for his brother, greed apparently is good after all.
Right so that’s that done with now to the world of escapism! Many people in the world, not me obviously I have time to write this blog, have busy, hectic, demanding lives including jobs, children to look after, parents to look after. Of course many use sport as their way to escape. After all what’s better after a stressful week’s work than to sit in your favourite seat at your football team’s ground and watch them play frustratingly poor and nearly give you a heart-attack with woeful defending. But for one man sport and specifically football could be the answer to all his troubles!
With his world tumbling around him this country’s ‘top’ man could turn to football. Of course I’m talking about the hapless Gordon Brown! With good old ‘Gordo’ changing his cabinet members more often that students change underwear at the moment I’ve come up with some footballing suggestions for the next time Mr Brown decides to shuffle his ministers about a bit.
I’ll dive straight in with our PM’s old position of Chancellor of the Exchequer, and my choice is another Scot. The man who took Everton to the FA cup final this year, none other than David Moyes. In this day and age of economic frailties who else but a man who’s done a lot from very little. Signing Tim Cahill, one of the Premiership’s most dangerous midfielders, for only £1.5 million is pretty astute, £2 million on England international Joleon Lescott. I could go on for a while. The fact is that with so little money having to go so far only Moyes could be a choice, after all Britain would happily be the 5th best country in the world right now.
I know you’re wondering who’s going to be Secretary of State for Energy and Climate change. Well it’s none other than Manchester City’s Robinho. Ok, so not the greatest of seasons for the small Brazilian but he still ended the season as 4th top goal scorer in the league after moving from the sun of Madrid to the rain of Manchester. And no one can question the ex-Santos man’s bountiful energy. Plus there’s the added fact he got the bus to the Trafford Centre when going shopping with his wife.
Next up, and you’ll notice there’s no logical order for these, is Secretary of State for Defence, now this is more difficult than the previous two, I mean we could pick good old Joey Barton, no one would start with us then, but I’m thinking Secretary of State for Justice for this magpie, after all which footballer knows the justice system better! So back to defence, we could go with the big Serb Nemanja Vidic but seeing as the best form of defence is attack we’ll have to go a different way. And with that thought in mind I’m going with Rory Delap, our air missiles will be the best in the world without doubt.
Gareth Barry certainly won’t be the Secretary of State for Foreign and Commonwealth Affairs, after all Manchester might be in Europe but no one from the mainland will be visiting Eastlands any time soon. No this spot would have to go to the master of all things foreign, Arsene Wenger. I considered Secretary of State for Health going to Michael Owen, in the same way as his Newcastle colleague Mr Barton is a justice system expert, Owen is definitely an expert on the health system.
Finally the PM himself, well I don’t think Mr Brown should continue so we need a footballing replacement. I considered going outside of football and going with Ross Brawn but that wouldn’t be very Sidleresque. Sir Alex is always an option, but then he’s not an expert at making failing things work, or at least not since the early 1990s. Down the road at Anfield things are hardly running smoothly, but after too much pressure Rafa would end up ranting at the leader of the opposition, FACT! Like Mike Ashley, and this is the first and last time I’ll ever compare myself to him, I’m not convinced Alan Shearer will get Newcastle promoted or this country in the right shape. There can only really be one man, and whilst his team could lose to Andorra and make me look very stupid, our next PM has to be David Beckham..... Ok so I’m joking. If we can have an Italian run our football team then why not have Fabio Capello run our country. I know this week it’s not linked to Sunday league football, but trust me, everyone in our team could run this brilliant nation better than it’s being run at the moment. Unfortunately Mr Brown won’t step down, but we can always dream of a world run by football!
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