Excuse My French!

Oh how I laughed! Just a few days after the transfer window closed shut, with not a lot of buying or selling from Chelsea, the shock news was announced on Sky Sports News. Chelsea have been banned from making transfers for the next two windows, meaning no new players for the London side till January 2011. Come on who of you out there, as long as you're not a Chelsea fan, didn't snigger. Mainly because since the Russian revolution down at Stamford Bridge your team has probably either lost your best player to them or lost out on a top player to them. Suddenly that won't be happening for a while and they'll have to make do with their current squad.

OK, I say make do! But let's be honest for a second- Cech, Terry, Ashley Cole, Lampard, Essien, Ballack, Drogba, Anelka- love them or hate them, that's the team as a whole or singular players, they're bloody good!

Back to the issue at hand, no doubt many shared my initial reaction, and then after some thought, many probably also shared my next feelings. These were ones of some shock and slight bemusement. Firstly because the charges towards Chelsea are very serious, the term 'tapping up' is thrown about so often in football, especially round transfer window time. But the use of the phrase 'inducement to breach of contract' is new and seems to hold more weight than mere chatting to an agent. I am of course no legal expert but to me it seems Chelsea are in big trouble. The second reason for bemusement or perhaps worry is a selfish one of course, ie. "If Chelsea have been caught out for this, what about United".

SHOCK! Just a day or so later and United had been accused of the same thing, minus the FIFA ban, United are in the same or certainly a similar position! And behold another French team at the heart of it. Now I'm generally not one for conspiracy theories but I can't help but start thinking something fishy is going on. Lets not forget it's not long ago since Eduardo was banned for two matches for his diving expolits, hardly something that never happens in world wide football yet a ban against a player for an English team. And what's this, now another English team, specifically Manchester City, have been accused of the same thing. I know it's getting a little silly now. Oh yeah forgot to mention IT'S A FRENCH TEAM!

You might be getting the picture here! Mr Uefa, or Platini as he was once known. Used to be a very good footballer, he's probably still better than plenty around today. But that's besides the point! We've already learnt in the past that world class footballers don't always make the best coaches or managers but I'm starting to think they don't make the best administrators either. I'm not soley blaming him for all the accusations but it seems that ever since he's got into power Michel has been on a one man tirade against English clubs. Sorry you're right! Mr Uefa has his pal, Mr FIFA! Yes everyone's good friend Mr Sepp Blatter, how could we forget him. Platini and Blatter doesn't quite sound like a law firm but it does sound like a disaster for our beautiful game.

Down in Sunday League football we don't have such issues, after all a transfer just requires the player, his current club secretary and new club secretary all signing a form and £5 admin fee. Easy! Meanwhile results have been interesting to say the least. Following the opening day loss came a midweek match with Crumpsall, if you've forgotten, this is the team who we usually beat in frendlies only to lose not long after in a league match. So after a 6-3 win in a friendly 8 days earlier I wasn't the only one shocked to see another 9 goals fly in. Although this time all 9 went to Sporting JLGB! Yes a 9-0 victory to make our negative 4 goal difference into a positive one just a few days later. And 6 goals came in the last 25 minutes. Then came the third game in a week and once again Freddy Road to take on Republic of Mancuina, an average team but a beatable one. Although not on this occasion! After the first 43 minutes were 0-0 with Sporting the better side an injury to our goalkeeper and a slip in concentration was pounced on and Mancunia led 1-0 at the break. The added to their lead late on as we looked to find an eqaliser, still though we ended the week with a positive goal difference!

Of course there's always some comparisson with 'real football' and our football! Down in our league it might not be an administrator but certainly one man, a referee, trying to ruin our fun. We had a run in with this ref last year, and despite our team trying to put it behind us this man in black clearly can't. This week he reported us to the league for kicking off 2 minutes late, this man is pathetic! Sorry it needed saying!

Right so I'm off to play some 5-a-side football and tomorrow to watch England qualify for the World Cup by beating Croatia, hopefully Defoe starts! And I'll finish this week by watching the English Premierleague! That's before Platini gets his hands on it anyway!

Nobody's Climbing Through This Window

BANG! Window shut my friends! And what a dramatic day it was, David James didn't go anywhere. Nicky Shorey didn't go anywhere. David Bentley didn't go anywhere. Frank Ribery didn't go anywhere. Martin Petrov didn't go anywhere. Mathew Upson didn't go anywhere. OK you get the picture, it wasn't very exciting at all, in fact one of the most exciting pieces of news was that Patrick Viera had 3 days off from Inter Milan and took a trip to London, but club wise, he didn't go anywhere.

So despite many a phone calls, and lots of dramatic music, by the boys, and ladies, at Sky Sports News, the end of that busiest of days that is transfer window day, finished with a whimper and no sight of a Robinho or Berbatovesque deal that we were treated to last season. We just spent the day praying for some Middle Eastern take over of say for example Burnley. Obviously with the window closing at 5 p.m we lost 7 hours of last minute transfers, although judging by today it's a good thing.

Anyway you're probably wondering when I'm going to get round to talking about each clubs transfers, well I'm not so ha! Instead I've put together my squad of transfers; the good, the bad, the downright odd. I've got my starting 11 and my subs.... So here goes; (team from right to left)

Joe Hart; Goalkeepers were hard to come by, and this is the reason you'll notice there isn't a goalkeeper on my subs bench. Hart has moved to Birmingham on loan to get first team football, and who can blame him. The superstars of Manchester City have Shay Given in between the sticks and sitting on the bench won't help the youngsters chances of making the World Cup squad.

Glen Johnson; This man's transfer cannot go unnoted. Finally allowed to make a real impact at a big 4 club several years after he was one of the first players involved in the Abramovich transfers. And at the beginning of what will be a long season Johnson already looks every bit the England player he has become. £17 million might seem a lot for a right back but come the end of the season his early impact may make a huge difference to Liverpool's season

Sol Campbell; At 34 the ex Spurs and Arsenal play would not have been the oldest football in top flight football by a long way. And as good old Harry said if he had been at any club other than Spurs he would have signed the ex England man. So if Harry would have, and as we're led to believe, many other Premiership managers wanted to sign Campbell, why did he end up at League 2 Notts County. Obviously because of Sven Goran Eriksson and his new role as Director of Football there but still this is a loony transfer for a man with 73 England caps and who would surely on an off chance still be looking to add to them.

Robert Huth; Down with Middelsborough last season and snapped back up to the Preniership with Stoke in August. Another ex Chelsea defender and one who, along with Sanil Tuncay's transfer from and to the same club as Huth, really showed the ambition that Tony Pulis and his Stoke side have. Not only in climbing the table but looking to add style with Tuncay, Pulis is looking up and only up, teams as high up as West Ham better look out the Potters are coming!

Joleon Lescott; The third most expensive defender ever? Yes that's right, Alessandro Nesta, Rio Ferdinand, Joleon Lescott- the quality gets lower as you go down that list I know but at £22 million pounds the ex Everton man's fee was ridiculous. Applause to David Moyes for wanting to hold onto him and for finally letting him go for enough money to rebuild his defence. And laughter to Mark Hughes for suggesting Lescott is the best defender in Britain- why the £40 million approach for John Terry I wonder.

Cristiano Ronaldo; What to say about this man. Will United miss him? Yes! Already shown it in the loss to Burnley. Now offence to Burnley but Ronaldo would have found something, someway to unlock the Burnley defence. Never mind the fact that Michael Carrick missed a penalty, United's former number 7 would not. Maybe it's not the selling of Ronaldo that has truly effected the United side maybe it's the true lack of a replacement.

Xabi Alonso; If Glen Johnson has added a lot of creativity to the Liverpool flank then the sale of Xabi Alonso to that small Spanish side in Madrid has taken almost all of their central creativity away. Sounds ridiculous with a team with Stevie G and Mr Torres but Gerrard drives the team forward rather than sprays the ball around from deep and 'El Nino' only creates in the final third. Alonso's replacement is untested in English football and currently still injured. Alberto Aquilani your new city needs you.

Fabian Delph; Stand up! Take your rapturous applause! Why? Because this man agreed to go to Aston Villa, and when Manchester City came to no doubt give him more money he still signed for Aston Villa. His old club Leeds United should also take a bow for doing the same. OK I know, me talking about City's money is getting boring. But I simply mean it's nice to see a youngster with some professionalism. More to the point young Mr Delph is English and may have ended up ruined at City. This happened back at Chelsea with Scott Parker, Shaun Wright-Phillips and Glen Johnson to name but three.

Damien Duff; Another player who went down with a North East side last season. Straight into the Europa League with Fulham. Duff has played for many years in the Premier League for clubs with differing fortunes, from a struggling Newcastle to a title winning Chelsea and a European battling/relegation fighting Blackburn side. Fulham will be better for his experience and silky smooth skill and Duff will be better for not being in the Championship.

Emmanuel Adebayor; Partially so City fans stop shouting at me for being anti-City but mainly because, as we've already seen, a happy Adebayor in the right surroundings is a goal scoring machine. Don't be surprised to see this man's name above the top of the top goal scorers chart, even with the African nations coming up. Furthermore his previous club, Arsenal, may end up missing him and end up outside the top 4, although on current form that's not likely.

Darren Bent; Last time young Darren moved clubs he was more expensive that Thierry Henry, this time round he's not caused such a stir which may well just suit him. Not only that but Bent will now be getting games on a regular basis, something not true at Spurs, and last time he got games was at Charlton where funnily enough he also got goals. Time for an England call?

Substitutes

Sebastien Bassong; When your main defender is injury prone to the highest degree it's a problem. When your top 3 central defenders are injury prone and out the first games of the season you've got a massive problem- enter Bassong!

John Terry; OK so he never went. But as one of the longest running transfer saga's I think he deserves a place on the bench. The England captain might also want to make a call to Mr Hughes to thank him for his new £8 million-a-year contract.

Teemu Tainio; Not a world beater but a steady midfielder. Tainio's inclusion doesn't come from the club he joined on loan Birmingham, but more that by leaving Sunderland temporarily, the club only have 6 recognised midfielders which could be a problem.

Stephen Hunt; Another season in the Championship would have been unfair on the Irish winger although he will need to play well to stop his new side, Hull, from relegation this season. Already a goalscorer this man can be dangerous.

Niko Kranjcar; Harry magic on the last day of the window. We may have been expecting more, like Martin Petrov, but this Croation midfield dynamo will have to do for Spurs but will be instrumental with Modric out for two months.

Michael Owen; It's still a little hard to believe the ex Liverpool man is at Manchester United. Had a slow start but so have the whole of his new team, when the Champions get into third gear and above the goals will come for Owen no doubt, but will Capello notice?

Jozy Altidore; Must be a nice feeling when you're the managers first choice signing, don't ask Jozy though. After Phil Brown was turned down by Michael Owen, Marc Antoine Fortune, Fraizer Campbell, Daryl Murphy and no doubt some others I've forgotten, he turned to the American youngster, those rejections could turn out to be the best piece of business for Phil.

Now for the exciting news! Sporting 1-5 South Manchester. We lost first up but we'll bounce back no doubt. It would sound like a mauling in real football but this is Sunday league and it was quite a tame score. The height advantage to them was a real factor as most of our goals were conceded at set pieces, fortunately we have some of our bigger players to come back so no need to worry just yet.

One final word this week, and it comes a week late maybe. Last week, in those scenes of utter hideousness at Upton Park as, and I refuse to call them football fans, the morons who follow West Ham United and Millwall ran onto the pitch, and attacked each other and the police outside the pitch causing havoc, one young man stood playing football like normal. But it wasn't like normal at all, Jack Collison played with more bravery than most of us could imagine to pluck up in the most serene of circumstances never mind in the cauldron of hate in that stadium that night. Sometimes in life football is insignificant but we can only tell by actually playing!

It's Football Gav, But Not As We Know It!

This weekend's biggest match will be huge and as is often the case it comes from Manchester. No you silly people, nothing to do with Manchester United vs Arsenal- it's all about a match that will take place on Sunday morning, not far from Old Trafford actually.

Yes ladies and gents, it's time for the MJSL to kick off its season. There in the picture is where it will all take place, underneath the lovely skyline of Beetham tower is the hallowed turf of Frederick Road, Salford. Beautiful isn't it. Actually I've been slightly lying to you, the picture shows pitch 3 and the most important match will be on pitch 2!

The team I've been telling you all about for months finally get their first taste of football since April. First up is a friendly on Wednesday. Sporting JLGB (that's us) take on Crumpsall. This is an annual friendly that Sporting usually win only to lose during the season to Crumpsall. I suppose I should fill any of those who don't know in on the details.

Only a few years ago Crumpsall FC were the worst team in the league, maybe second ahead of the 16 year olds in Maccabi 6th. They played bad football and had bad players. But suddenly they became good, much adulation goes to Zevi Saunders, their manager. Crumpsall's style of play isn't always pretty but it is effective (I realise Sunday league football isn't usually pretty but still). Now with better players and an effective way of playing Crumpsall have become a very dangerous side, reached several finals and picked up silverware. Unfortunately for the team, they have lost several players from last season and will line up on Wednesday with an almost unknown starting 11. No matter the outcome the rematch comes just over a week later. To be precise it's Crumpsall vs Sporting JLGB in the league 8 days after the friendly, don't be surprised to hear two completely different results.

After the friendly and before the league game against Crumpsall, Sporting start their league season against South Manchester Maccabi. Once again Freddy Road hosts this one with Sporting hoping to kick off their season in style. South Manchester are a slight unknown quantity. A team who change quite a few players every season, firstly some of their players will be off to university around the country and secondly rumours abound that they have picked up several ex Crumpsall players, though this could be true of several teams in the MJSL, just not Sporting. Our matches against South Manchester are often eventful, although to be honest there isn't often an uneventful match with us. Last season though we only manager to play one match against them as the second match was cancelled because they couldn't get enough players together, that's how scary an opposition we are.

Now I guess I should tell you about us a little bit more. Sporting JLGB are about fun and winning, although the winning is sometimes harder to come by. Led by our manager Gavin Sharpe the boys enjoy nothing more than getting out onto the pitch on a Sunday morning and giving it their all, often in a vain attempt to win. On paper we're a much better side but we let ourselves down with the odd implosive performance, argument on the pitch- comes with all being friends, and our general fitness is generally awful! Having said that we also play some really attractive football, as far as Sunday League goes anyway. As mentioned some weeks ago this season we have a kit sponsor and this will help us survive, so thank you to CliveAnthony Residential Lettings (http://www.cliveanthony.co.uk/) (01617961000). I know it's a shameless link but I don't care. The guys there are really nice and care a lot about the project at Sporting JLGB, they don't imagine for one minute that we'll generate millions for them by being on the front of our shirts but they care about us and that's what matters.

The MJSL is where we ply our trade. It's of course not the most glamorous league in the world, it's not even the most glamorous Sunday league in Manchester but we love it. The MJSL houses just 11 teams but it's a fun league to play in and it cares about its teams. We only hope this season we can win some silverware and end the team's run of forever.

Normally I like to do a comparison between the Premiership, or whatever I've written about, to our Sunday League side, and this week I'd like to do the opposite, but I think this would take away from the message I'd like to convey. There is no comparison, for the boys who play this is of course the closest we'll ever get to the Premiership, a referee, an official competition. But as much as it is the closest, it is also, fortunately, nothing like real football. Down in the MJSL, at Frederick Road playing fields, not many people care what's going on, and in a weird way we're quite happy about that because we care, we know the magic that takes place. So here's to Sporting JLGB and a wonderful season ahead.... SPORTIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING!!!!!!!!!!